Write about the most precious thing you’ve ever lost.
Ok so I didn’t plan my first new blog post to be so serious, but I chose the inspire me link and the topic I get is the most precious thing you’ve ever lost. It is fitting since for the past year, almost daily, I think of the miscarriage I had December 27, 2012.
Let me start with a little back story here. I have PCOS. If you haven’t heard of it, it is a disease that reeks all kinds of havoc for a woman. Cysts form on ovaries, it can lead to endometriosis, cause miscarriages. I honestly thought I just couldn’t get pregnant because of it.
It came as a surprise when we found out I was pregnant. Unfortunately, we found out because of really bad cramps I started having suddenly. When the doctor said my pregnancy test was positive, I just had a feeling it wouldn’t be a happy ending.
We didn’t find out until the next day, that it was definitely a miscarriage. I spent three days in the hospital after having to have surgery. I wasn’t even two weeks pregnant. Some believe there is no real person at that stage. Tell a person who has had a miscarriage that.
Last year was a rough year for me. It was hard to be around babies for a while. It seemed like a lot of people got pregnant all at the same time. I was happy for them, but it still hit me hard.
I am so fortunate to have a wonderful, supportive husband. I also have my faith in God. I won’t lie, I did feel angry toward him for a while, but I do believe we go through trials like that for a reason. I know that may sound cliché, but it is true. One thing that got me through the pain was the song, Beauty from Pain by Superchick.
“After all this has passed, I still will remain
After I’ve cried my last, there’ll be beauty from pain
Though it won’t be today, someday I’ll hope again
And there’ll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain”
See? Really great words. I still get sad from time to time, but I finally realized I need to move on. Yes, I lost the most precious thing one might receive in life; however, I have so much wonderful in my life: an especially wonderful husband, loving family and friends, and loving church family.
If you’ve had a miscarriage or some other loss in your life, just know God does love you. You may wonder why he is letting you go through such pain. You may never know the answer to that, but remember those lyrics above. He will bring beauty from your pain. Don’t let your grief consume you.